In one of my podcast episodes of S3xploration with Poly Anna, we discussed the Pure Love Promise and why Abstinence is Bad Sex Education. In that episode, I spent some time talking about a man influencing young people with bad s3x education. His name is Jason Evert. What this man preaches is dangerous and harmful to teens. I wanted to be sure and follow up with a video (published on my YouTube Channel, With Poly Anna) and this blog post so as people search this man, that video and this blog will pop up in the results too.
I went to an all girls Catholic high school here in Arizona. Every year in a mandatory assembly, we were forced to listen to Jason Evert talk about his “Pure Love Promise.” It is not important to people like Jason Evert or private schools like my old high school to give young people an accurate helpful, or emotionally healthy education about human s3xuality. What is important to them is to communicate that abstinence is the one and only answer. They use body shaming, victim blaming, slut shaming, and chauvinism to accomplish this. To scare and guilt kids into being “pure”. They refuse to provide kids with any science or health-based information that could actually help in real-life application. Their goal is for these students to be virgins when they marry, be hereos3xual, and have lots and lots of babies.
Jason Evert’s God is a God of Judgement, and you can only receive his love if you are pure, married, straight and have kids. Period. What makes this man so dangerous is the way he sells his trash. He talks around his puritan messages and makes it sound like he is an ally and inclusive of the LGBTQIA+ community while he completely avoids being clear about his arguments. He does this because he knows his arguments are not popular and not likely to be well received. He is trying to trick you into liking him so much you feel agreeable toward him, even if you totally disagree. This is the tactic of politicians and people who generally have weak arguments, and avoid making clear points. One of the best examples of this is his video on Homos3xuality and Marriage Equality. If you watch that video you may find your mind spinning by the time he finally makes allusions to his points (while still remaining unclear about them). At the end of the video he finally comes out and says it. That it is ok to have homos3xual urges… just don’t act on them. He even has the balls to say-with a truly gross level of enthusiasm-that he hopes one day there will be saints canonized because they had homos3xual urges or experiences and were born again straight…out of love for God! Holy plug for Gay Conversion Therapy Batman!
When I searched for this guy on YouTube I could find not a single video challenging this creep. Because of that I want to at least get my perspective out there as a critic of him and a former student of the Pure Love Promise. One of the things he preaches is that the only way we can experience romantic love is as formerly abstinent people who marry heteros3xually and are monogamous. Boy do I beg to differ! I am polyamorous, bis3xual, pan-situational and unmarried. I have fallen in the most beautiful experiences of of romantic love in my life with a man and a woman, at the same time, more than once. And unmarried. When I was married, hetero-monogamous… it was truly the unhappiest, loveless time of my life. And through it all I have never felt closer to God and more surrounded by God’s love, then when I started my journey into polyamory, swinging, and bis3xuality. I was divinely inspired to embrace my true self: A Bis3xual Polyamorous person. And for the first time in my life I feel true joy and inner peace. Daily. It was not easy to face on my own, but it was communing with God in prayer that gave me the strength and courage to do it. I am a walking talking example of how wrong Jason Evert is about our capabilities of giving and receiving real love.
Jason Evert assumes he is a prophet of God and tours the country during the school year spreading his poison into impressionable young minds. A series of captive audiences still trying to figure themselves out, craving understanding and acceptance. He knows this and takes full advantage. To Jason Evert God is a God of Judgement. He is a God whose love you have to earn. God and other people will only love you if you make the “Pure Love Promise” and live a devout Catholic life like Jason. Now, I grew up attending private schools, going to Sunday School, Wednesday Night Bible Study, theology class after theology class, and the God of Wrath and Anger described in the Old Testament…never made sense to me. The God of Love Jesus talked about-that guy made sense. That sounded like a benevolent being. A God whose love I am most amongst when I am embracing and accepting other children of God as they are. When I am judging others, trying to manipulate and control them, when I am prideful and assume I am doing this whole life thing better than them…for example, spreading an oppressive “Pure Love Promise” campaign… I am far further away from experiencing true Godly love.
I called this man and his message that abstinence is the only way dangerous and I want to explain to you why. They are not teaching teens about safe s3x practices. Let us be honest, teens and young adults are far more likely to have premarital s3x than not. When we don’t educate and prepare them for the inevitability of s3x, their health is at risk for STDs and they may feel too much shame to seek out treatment should they get one. They may have to face unplanned pregnancy. Perhaps at a time or in a place in their life that makes it quite difficult to face. They carry with them the emotionally damaging message that their value is based on the use or lack of use of their physical body. They are likely to experience insecurities associated with this warped self view which is likely to convert to judgments and stigmas they put on others. The value they place on their intellect, talents, and emotional self disassociates from what they think they can offer a partner.
Arguably most harm of all from his teaching…those that are questioning and/or closeted who are potential welcome and celebrated members of the LQBTQIA+ community, carry with them the message that the cannot experience real love, divine love and support, if they embrace who they truly are. Today I ask you to throw away the “Pure Love Promise” so that you can experience real love. Love is a gift. A gift we give and receive generously from one another. We can only give it if we love ourselves first, as we truly are. I want to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite theologians, Fred Rogers. “The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self.”